I had some further questions regarding your fatwa about marriage in Islam. Please find below the question.
In your answer you have mentioned that men have a stronger sexual desire that’s why women are obliged to answer but men also have to fulfill their obligation. My question was even if a man DILEBERATELY doesn’t satisfy his wife or doesn’t give her rights she still cannot disobey him or refuse to share his bed. I know Islam orders men to treat women kindly but there are good and bad people in every society and it seem there is very less protection for women against bad people.
Husband has so much control or his wife life that it makes it very easy to abuse it. It seems that Islam stance on marriage for women is if she gets a bad man as a husband then hard luck only when things become unbearable she can ask for divorce. I know divorce by a man for no legitimate reason is disliked and discouraged but from what I have read it certainly cannot be prohibited as reading fatwas from your site you have mentioned Hazarat Hassan Bin Ali use to divorce lot of women and from what I have read he married 70 women. Hazarat Ali disapproved of it but didn’t stop his son doing that. If it was prohibited he would have stopped him and he would have certainly obeyed his father. The Hadees “The most hateful permissible action is divorce” is also weak and not authentic.
One thing I cannot understand that in Islam even unnecessary cutting a tree is considered a sin but there is no punishment for a man who emotionally breaks a woman by divorcing her without a reason it is not even considered a sin. Divorce was painful at that time too. At the time when Hazarat Ali (May Allah be pleased with him) wanted to marry Abu Jahal’s daughter Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) openly denounced that in public as it would have meant he had to divorce Hazarat Fatima (May Allah be pleased with her) and it would hurt her.
You have also mentioned that “Usually, women are emotionally-and not rationally- motivated. This is why asking for divorce by the wife -for no legitimate reason- is a sin”. This doesn’t make any sense to me. That means a poor man should be punished very harshly for theft as he is more likely to steal because of his poverty but rich man shouldn’t be punished for that at all as he is already rich and will probably not steal. Shouldn`t it be the other way round?

All praise be to Allah, and may His peace and blessings be on the greatest messenger, Muhammad.
My respected sister,
Try to look at the issues with impartiality, and you will find that what is legislated in Islam is the ultimate wisdom.
There is no doubt that men are dominant in the partnership of marriage. That is the nature of things. This is true throughout the ages, cultures and the strata of all societies.
Now, if you lock the man into this relationship with a woman he dislikes, who is the greater looser? The woman, for sure. Thus, the wisdom is to allow men to divorce their wives when they want, given they have a reason, and they are not doing it to merely harm their wives, but discourage them from this act. That is exactly what Allah legislated.
Concerning the hadeeth about divorce in which the Prophet said, "أَبْغَضُ الْحَلَالِ إلى اللَّهِ تَعَالَى الطَّلَاقُ." “The most detested act of those that are permissible is divorce.”
This hadeeth was reported by Abu Dawood and others. It is considered sound by some scholars and weak by others, but if it is weak, it is not the only one concerning the issue of divorce. The Prophet also said,
"إِنَّ إِبْلِيسَ يَضَعُ عَرْشَهُ على الْمَاءِ ثُمَّ يَبْعَثُ سَرَايَاهُ فَأَدْنَاهُمْ منه مَنْزِلَةً أَعْظَمُهُمْ فِتْنَةً يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فيقول فَعَلْتُ كَذَا وَكَذَا فيقول ما صَنَعْتَ شيئا قال ثُمَّ يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فيقول ما تَرَكْتُهُ حتى فَرَّقْتُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ امْرَأَتِهِ قال فَيُدْنِيهِ منه وَيَقُولُ نَعْمَ أنت."
“Iblees (the devil) places his throne on water and dispatches his troops, and the closest of them to him is one who is greater in misguiding people. One of them comes and says, I have done so-and-so, and he (Iblees) says, you have not done much. Another one comes and says, I did not leave him until he divorced his wife, so he (Ibless) brings him closer and says, yes you are the one.” (Reported by Muslim, which is one of the two most authentic collections of the sunnah.”
Based on this and many other reports, many scholars, including the hanafis and some hanbalis chose that divorce is basically forbidden without a legitimate need, and here is what Imam Ibn Taymeah, the great Hanbali scholar said about it, “The basic principle concerning divorce is that it is forbidden, and it is only permitted as much as is necessary.” Majmoo’ al-Fatawa, 33/81.
Islam also allowed the woman to seek divorce if she is mistreated by the man, and even if she is not, yet she hates to live with him, it allowed her separation through khul’, which basically entails giving the man back his dower. (That should make perfect sense)
Has there been a religion, in the history, that was more fair and balanced than this great religion of ours?
As for your comment about emotions, it makes perfect sense that emotional people are restrained during their times of emotional outburst from harming themselves and their families. Islam did not prevent the woman from seeking a separation if she hates her husband or hates to live with him (even if she was not mistreated), but only made the process slightly longer to give her a chance to rethink her decision. If the woman is not mistreated by the man, does not hate him, and does not hate living with him, then it is not halal for her to ask for divorce. Most people would find no problem seeing the wisdom in this stance.
Concerning the wife’s options with her unfair husband, the nature of the two genders would make it impossible for the wife to “fix” her husband’s behavior except through exhortation. I do not know what other solutions there may be. It is impossible to hire an officer to oversee the relationship between each married couple and force the husband to treat his wife well. Islam forbade injustice, and there will be a punishment for the unjust in the hereafter. Nevertheless, in this life, there is no way to prosecute in the court of law every husband who will commit injustice towards his wife. What she may do in this case is to exhort him, to seek knowledgeable people to do that on her behalf, and/or to seek arbiters from the two families to judge between them, then if all means fail, she will either patient herself or, if she cannot, seek separation. If she was wrong done, she will earn a divorce and if she simply hates him but could not prove any wrong doing on his part, she will earn separation through khul’ as indicated here above.
Finally, I pray for me and you to see the wisdom in Allah’s legislations for us, and enjoy living in accordance with His word.
Allah knows best.

As salamu alaikum,
I will appreciate if you could provide answers to the following questions (with evidences where possible):
1) I hear a lot of fellow sisters say the position of scholars is that music is allowed, and that at worst it is controversial. Please respond to this and also comment on nasheeds by famous muslim singers at concerts.
2) If a sister invites me to a walimah and I get there to find that men and women are seated together in an uncomfortable way, what should I do without straining our relationship?
3) If one is a Chemist seeking a job or an internship, and an opening exists in an analytical lab. The main clients of this lab are breweries, thus 70% of their analyses are for alcoholic beverages. What would you advise the person to do?
I look forward to your reply.

All praise be to Allah, and may His peace and blessings be on the greatest messenger, Muhammad.
The issue of music and songs is one that has been recently rigorously debated, though, it was not so controversial in the past, because the vast majority of scholars have forbidden it.
Allah said,
وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يَشْتَرِي لَهْوَ الْحَدِيثِ لِيُضِلَّ عَن سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَيَتَّخِذَهَا هُزُوًا أُولَئِكَ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ مُّهِينٌ”
“And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks (i.e.music, singing, etc.) to mislead (men) from the Path of Allah without knowledge, and takes it (the Path of Allah, the Verses of the Quran) by way of mockery. For such there will be a humiliating torment (in the Hell-fire).” (Luqmaan 31:6)
It was reported from Ibn ‘Abbas and Ibn Mas’ood of the companions and Mujahid and al-Hassan al-Basri of their followers, as well as many others, that this idle/vain talk is music and singing. (Review al-Tabari, al-Qurtubi or Ibn Katheer.)
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,
" ليكونن من أمتي أقوام يستحلون الحر والحرير والخمر والمعازف .. "
“There will be among my ummah people who regard adultery, silk, pork and musical instruments as permissible…” (Reported by al-Bukhari and though in the mo’allaq (disconnected chain) form, the sanad (chain) was connected by al-Isma’eely, at-Tabaraani and al-Bayhaqi).
Imam Ibn al-Qayyem said that this hadeeth indicates the prohibition of music in two ways:
1 – The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “[they] will regard as permissible…..” he is blaming them for making permissible that which is not.
2 – Musical instruments are combined in this report with three enormities. (saying that music is only impermissible if combined with them is not a strong argument, since each one of the other three is forbidden by itself and there are other reports that forbid music and that argument does not answer the Prophet’s saying in condemning those people “regard as permissible…”.
The scholars of Islam, generation after generation, forbade music and enlisted musical instruments in the fiqh books, chapters of transactions, under the goods impermissible to sell. The four madhhabs agree on the prohibition of musical instruments as evident in their classical writings.
By agreement, there is an exception of the duff (hand drum without the metal rattles on the sides) for women in weddings, since the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) allowed it in this occasion.
• Some say it is not limited to weddings.
• Some say there is no harm if played by men.
• Some expand this to include all percussion instruments.
• Some go as far as saying the duff may have rattles.
At any rate, the air/blowing and string instruments, and whatever makes their sounds, are forbidden by the vast majority of the scholars of the past and present, because of the here above proofs and many others.
A few earlier scholars and some contemporary ones allowed them if there is no inappropriate content in what is said in the songs, but their opinion is in conflict with the textual proofs, the sound reasoning, and the (almost) agreement of the scholars of Islam through the generations.
A quick look at the producers of music and songs, the singers and those intrigued by music and a brief examination of their character and lifestyle shows those with clear vision and insight the evils of music. Many parents listen to music, and blame their kids for listening to certain types of music, because of their dangers, and their bad associations. The kids are wrong in listening to music, but they are not wrong in perceiving their parents as contradictory. After all, where do you draw the line, and how do you distinguish between the benign and malignant forms of music!
This issue remains to be one of the issues that are not matters of consensus, thus, you should propagate the truth you believe in without creating enemies of your Muslim brothers and sisters who cling to the other opinion and refuse to see your viewpoint.
As for the nasheeds, if there is no music, and their content is appropriate, then I hope they are permissible.
As for your question about the mixing in wedding parties, you should not stay in a place where there is excessive social mixing between the opposite genders, particularly if there are other prohibitions, such as music. You may congratulate your sister who is getting married and excuse yourself. Many times, the parties are at a place where you may be able to sit outside of the hall in which there is impropriety. If it was not just the music and the social mixing, but there was dancing in front of the other gender or obviously inappropriate mixing, then you should not respond to such invitations in the first place, and if you unknowingly did, then you may excuse yourself when you arrive. As long as you act politely and with dignity, do not fear from people when you are pursuing the pleasure of their creator.
As for the chemist, he should wait to find a halaal job, and Allah will not let him down if he forsakes this job for Him.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,
"من ترك شيئا لله عوضه الله خيرا منه." “He who forsakes something for Allah, Allah will make him up with something better than it.”
Allah knows best.

Assalamulaikum,
My husband and I have been married for 11 years and have two children. When we married we were both non practicing Muslims. Alhamdulillah, 4 years ago, I was given the guidance, and began practicing Islam. During that time, I`ve tried to help my husband realize the beauty of this religion and how important it is to follow it. Unfortunately 4 years later he is still not praying, listening to music, watches inappropriate TV, uses foul language, etc. This however, is between him and Allah SWT.
However, all of these issues has a spillover effect on me and my children. My husband also uses foul language in front of them, yells at me and the children, is harsh with them and has threatened that he will take them back to his country and leaves me.
Alhamdulillah, my children are in an Islamic school. But he threatens to take them out every time we have a disagreement. Additionally, he believes taking interest loans is perfectly fine. And brought me a document last week telling me to fill the application for a riba loan on which he wanted me to sign.
Lastly, I work full time outside the home. I have requested him to be able to work less and take care of my children but he refuses. He demands 75% of my income to take care of our very luxurious lifestyle. He will not listen to my requests to change our life. Is it permissible for me to stay in this marriage?

All praise be to Allah, and may His peace and blessings be on the greatest messenger, Muhammad.
My respected sister,
This story of yours is not rare, but rather very common. The hearts are in the hands of their creator, thus, when one of the spouses turns back to Allah, the other may not necessarily do the same.
I would advise you to be patient with him if he is Muslim. At least if he has respect for the religion, and shows it through any acts of righteousness, such as fasting in Ramadan…etc, then you should invest more time and effort in guiding him.
Continue to exhort him with kindness and gentleness to repent and pray, and to desist from using the foul language and watching inappropriate TV, but do not be too authoritative in doing so. Try to show him how Islam made you a perfect wife and to win his heart over.
If he is completely wicked, and there is no good in him whatsoever, then it may be better for you and the children to leave him. (He will always be their father however) As for signing a usurious contract, you should not, for “there is no obedience for a creature at the expense of disobeying the creator” as our most beloved, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said.
You do have the right to stay home more, and if you wish, to quit work all together. There is no doubt that you are entitled to doing so. I hope that he will, one day, recognize the great benefits of a stay-home wife and mother. Again, you are entitled to being spent on, and if he refuses, you will have the choice to seek divorce or stay with him, but since you have kids together, I would recommend for you to try to salvage the marriage as much as you can.
Allah knows best.

Salam Alikum
Here in Egypt there is a lot of places that we are used to meet friends at, either for business stuff or even for fun, and also in places like hurghada, sharm el sheikh or dahab, these places are well known as restaurants or coffee shops, the problem is all these places are most likely selling beverages and alcoholic drinks and each new place owner is running to make a big bar to attract foreigners to his place, my question is, is sitting in such places forbidden for us as Muslims or not; especially in touristy places �cities like Hurghada”?
Thanks in advance, and jazak allah khairan.

All praise be to Allah, and may His peace and blessings be on the greatest messenger, Muhammad. The rule is to avoid such places. You, as a Muslim, want to stay away from evil and its doers as much as possible. You also should not help those evildoers propagate their wickedness. If having a bar will attract foreigners but not repel away locals, then such wickedness will spread. If each one of the practicing Muslims said I will not make a difference by boycotting such places, then no difference will be made.
If there is no other decent and reasonable place to eat, or to stay at, then, for this need, one may eat or stay at a restaurant or hotel - respectively - that serves such prohibited items, and seek Allah�s forgiveness.
Allah knows best.

Salamu Alaikum,
I slept with a woman about 10 years ago we were not married, she told me that I got her pregnant. this woman has 3 kids, one of them she doesn`t even know who`s the father.
After two may be 3 weeks we didn`t talk or see each other, so I went over to her house and I found here sleeping with another man. I didn`t say nothing, I went home.
My question is: After all these years my mind is confused, there is times that I believe that could be my child, because the condom broke when we were having intercourse, and there is times that I believe that the child is not mine, because this lady lied to me on a few occasions even if I knew her just for a few weeks.
The time that I met here she was going through separation with the father of here two kids,(the time that we had sex she was not divorced from her husband, we dated for about a month on the week-ends) this might sounds very complicated , but this is true to my believe.
So what do I need to do and what does our SHARIAA says about this situation and what is the KAFARA.
I don`t feel good about this and I know that ALLAH forbids ZINA, so where do I stand. Please if you can explain in detail what I should do
Jazakum ALLAH khayra.

All praise be to Allah, and may His peace and blessings be on the greatest messenger, Muhammad.
Since the woman was married to another man (even if they were separated), then, the child is not yours, even if you were the biological father.
There is no disagreement in this regard, for the Messenger of Allah said,
“الولد للفراش، و للعاهر الحجر”
�The child belongs to the legitimate partner, and for the fornicator, stoning is his lot.�
I would, therefore, advise you to make a sincere repentance, one that includes remorse for having committed an enormity, and determination to never return to it. You should start a new life of righteousness, and Allah�s mercy is close to those who sincerely repent, He said,
“إِلَّا مَن تَابَ وَآمَنَ وَعَمِلَ عَمَلًا صَالِحًا فَأُوْلَئِكَ يُبَدِّلُ اللَّهُ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ حَسَنَاتٍ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا”
�Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for Allah will change the evil of such persons into good, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful� (al-Furqan 25:70)
Allah knows best.